I Never Liked Pink

"You should teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up." Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Never in a million years did I think that having a child would change me the way it has.

For instance...
I never liked pink. I avoided it at all costs. You would never have found me wearing pink or thinking about wearing pink, or blush or coral. It might have a dash of it here or there, but never solid pink.

But the day I found out our little lamb was a girl...pink started to make a presence in my life.
The day Anora was born, I was proudly wearing pale pink nails and hot pink toenails. The midwife even got a chuckle and said to me, "Is that nail polish for her?" "YES!" I said proudly.

And like that pink, other things have seeped in and out of my life because of her.
Like things that I never thought about sometimes.
Like everything.

I started thinking about what I watch, what I read, what I say.
In my heart of hearts, I know I'll never be perfect but for about a year now, my heart has wanted more.
I've wanted to live the command "Be Holy As I am Holy."
What does that even look like?

Sometimes my feeble mind cannot grasp even what Holy is.
But I know that I want it.

I want to be holy, so that she will be holy.
I want to keep my mouth in check, my heart in check, my life in check.
I want to teach her the things of the Lord and be a vessel in which to show her how to one day be.
It's my hope that she will learn from my example.
What a heavy role to live out; being a parent!

It's my greatest job now.
Never in a million years did I think someone would challenge me in the ways she has challenged me.
And she's so small!

I know it will take a lifetime to work out, but I'm more than willing to do it.
I know that I will have to ask her forgiveness over and over and over again. But that's part of it really.
It's love at the center.
It's bearing with one another in love.
It's showing her that we make mistakes, and we have a God who forgives us, so let us forgive like He does.
And it's in the failures that we learn the most, isn't it?

But I pray I don't make failures that will alter her heart, or hurt her so deeply that she has to face it day to day. I pray that God will keep me from that. I know I'm not above it, so let me take each day with stride, and may all my choices fall in line with Him, I pray.

I hope that I continue to challenge myself everyday to hear from the  Lord, to follow Him, and to show her the way.
And I suppose now, I will be doing all that, with a dash of pink incorporated in it all.
~Larena Ann